The ball is in my hand

Hello world,

when I told AD about my plans for the weekend, I said it'd either be an awesome or an awful one. Turns out it's the former :)

I slept in today, then went to my father's and picked up my brother's basketball. I haven't been playing for the last 6 years - and I've been eager to hold a ball in my hands again. Why did I quit? Well. On the one hand, I wasn't very good at it. But it was still fun. (And I am planning on engaging in a team again as soon as my dog, Findus, can stay alone long enough.) The last time I held a ball in my hands ... was when I met my ex at the court and we wanted to play some - and he broke up with me out of the thin air. I still remember what shirt I was wearing. Funny, isn't it? Usually, my memory is far from flawless, and I most likely already forgot what I did two weeks ago - but that memory is still very vivid. I broke down in the park, I got lost, I ended up on my friend's porch, crying. Not the same porch, but the same friend whose apartment I now rented. Life can be funny sometimes.

I'm glad that my body still remembers some of the movements. And it was such a liberating feeling to feel the sweat running down my face (well, unless it ran into my eyes, but oh well), to feel my body move. 

On the court, I had to think back to the conversation I had with AD, and to a Facebook post of a 'friend' of mine. She's one of my acquaintances from ED time, and I think she's one of like three that I have on Facebook. She's recovering, and her post said something about how life will be what we allow it to be, and that we are the only ones standing in our way. And that made me think back to the conversation with AD - and it's up to me if my weekend is awesome or not.

My plans for tomorrow? Well, I actually wanted to go to the park and read a good book in the grass. But my father kinda changed that. So I may go for a run in the morning - depending on how late I turn in tonight, and then study a bit - there's a short term paper I have to hand in on Tuesday and I finally have to get started on it, and then my father invited me to come over for a little barbecue. So that's gonna be fun. I hope. If my father behaves. We'll see ;-)

I feel kinda torn these days. Caught in between two worlds, or two languages rather. My every day life is in German - but everything apart from that is English. I blog in English, I currently read an English book (Game of Thrones), I chat to AD in English and spend a lot of time in an English chatroom or on the English site Fetlife. And I recently registered for Netflix which gives me the opportunity to watch a lot of stuff in English <3 

One of these movies is Dirty Dancing. I have watched this movie about a hundred times in German, I know every freaking line, I grew up with it. 

One of my favorite lines: "I carried a watermelon." - I will have this on my wall if I end up staying in this apartment. 

What's funny about finally watching movies in English that you only know in German, is to see how the movie has been changed and interpreted by synchronizing it. For example, Johnny is a completely different character in German. His voice is soft, he speaks perfect German - it's almost cheesy. In English, Swayze's voice is rougher, he drops the third-person-'s' and is in general more the badass that he's supposed to be. That's refreshing.

But the most striking is what they did to this famous line.

It's a great line, isn't it? So full of meaning while simultaneously - well, she's literally sitting in a corner. In German, he says something like "Baby belongs to me, is that clear?" - Very possessive, but also a very different meaning. If you imagine the movie to go on - well, the English version leaves room for interpretation. It's possible that they make it, that Baby and Johnny make it through, that they are a couple. Though I do not like that version. I favor the one where she develops, where she is more confident, more female, where she grows up - and becomes this person that is no longer put in a corner, independent from Johnny. - But, well, I may get carried away here. Anyway, in German there's just one interpretation. I mean, she still develops, but the focus of the movie is on their relationship, not on her development.

Whatever, I'll stop now. I need to finish doing the dishes anyway.

Have a great time! Remember: The ball is in your corner - or, more accurately in my case, it was in my hand. It's up to me what my future will be like. And the same goes for you. Whoever reads this: It's up to you.

xoxo

Kiwi