Hello world,
it's been a while. It's been a while indeed. And I somehow managed to cope without blogging - and I did not go nuts. At least I don't think so. But I have some spare time on my hands - because I am at work and there's nothing to do and the colleague I share my office with is not here today. So it's time for a little update.
What have I been up to? Uhm. Well. Nothing much, actually. Though I have been to my third munch and through people there have been introduced to two more munches which take place on a weekly basis. Actually, I am headed to one of those after work tonight. A warm hug to my very own stalker who was bored enough to actually read my blog :D (And yet, she's not managed to watch the latest Sherlock episode!) It feels weird knowing that someone I know in real life read through these private ramblings - but then again, it was bound to happen at some point in time, considering that I have it linked to my FetLife profile and am now getting in touch with my local scene.
So. That's what I am enjoying at the moment - exploring kink, meeting people, learning, experiencing. Playing.
I did mention my date with T, did I not? Well. We've had four dates so far, things are going slow. Which is alright, I guess. He's busy with work and his PhD, and I get that. Yet I am not someone who can handle this uncertainty all too well, so I told myself that I'd wait till the end of February (when his PhD exam is over) and if by then he hasn't made up his mind if he's in for something serious or not, then I'll end this. Not saying that I need a declaration of love or whatever - but I'd like to know if he even considers something relationship-ish or can imagine that. This whole two-hour-date-thingy is starting to upset me. And I am not going to wait for him forever. Either he wants to really get to know me - and that means really spend time with me - or he does not.
I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but T and I don't really match kink-wise. Which I saw as a huge downfall in the beginning. Now I'm not that sure anymore. Because I'm still so new to everything and it does me good to be pushed out of my comfort zone and be confronted with things I wouldn't have thought I might be into. I am starting to be curious about kinks I wouldn't even have considered before. The one surprising me the most is pet play. I remember when T told me that he was into that, I was kinda like "wtf?" and thought it super weird. But I did some research, and the more I read, the more curious I am. So, as it happens, it's T's birthday next week, and even though he doesn't want me to, I got him a present. He doesn't know what it is yet. It needed to be something personal, and what's more personal than kink? So: I am going to try pet play for him. I'm really excited! I got this cat mask, a collar, a leash and a plug tail. Together with some nice lace gloves and garters, this is really something I am looking forward to! I have the attitude of a cat, hihi. If you're not nice to me, I will curl up, turning my back to you, being such a tease with the plug tail - but don't you dare get near me then. I'll claw you, hissing. - This is going to be fun. And my mantra is "spoil the kitten!" - I stumbled across collars with bows and bells and lace and oh-my-god-that's-so-cute!
So I'm really glad that I kind of was forced to deal with that topic. I also would have thought I'd be more sensitive in regard to humiliation than I actually seem to be. We'll see where I'll end up. And to think that AD saw that potential in me all along and did the ground work ... I wish I could thank him. And then kick his balls for leaving me like that ;-)
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen